Saturday, May 31, 2008

TV Rots the Brain

I've wasted many minutes of my life watching bad reality tv. My eyes may fall out of their sockets if I roll my eyes one more time.

The line up:
Step It Up and Dance, or as I like to call it, Shut The Hell Up and Dance.
I love a good dance show. One in particular, So You Think You Can Dance. Dancing with the Stars, not so much, but I tried and it's decent.

The people on SIUAD are annoying. Number one. I couldn't care about them because all but two were dickheads with big egos and full of "extravagance". Who wants to watch a group of people you probably wouldn't like in 'real' life compete? The first challenge placed our 12 dancers in a dance club with extras for them to show off what they can do "freestyle". Lame.
Afterwards they were split into two groups - the weaker dancers who would have someone eliminated from them, and a group of "better" dancers, one of which would earn immunity from the next weeks elimination round. Who uses "immunity" chances on a dance show? Channeling Tom Hanks in A League of Their Own, "There's no immunity in dancing!"

A choreographer teaches the two groups a dance to Spice World, by the Spice Girls - the choreography sucked, I thought. A lot of "tribal" jumping around and arm movements. Lame.

Did I mention Elizabeth Berkley is the host of this show? Nomi Malone. "I'm so excited!!" Jessi Spano. Who thought of her for this? Not that she's a bad person, or poor actress - she just seems like a random choice.
Who was watching Showgirls on VH1 and asked themselves, "I wonder if she could host a show about dance..looks like she can dance..hmm"? I digress.

I won't watch this show again. May the least annoying dancer win.

Denise Richards: It's Complicated a.k.a. Denise Richards: Who gives a crap?



Denise Richards has a reality tv show? Why? What is she doing aside from buying pigs, bbq grills, and checking out her status on the internet? Well, pretty much nothing. There's not a lot to say about this one. There was a funny moment when Denise goes on a blind date with a guy who seems to have a weird head bobbing-neck twitch..and the disgusting-ness of watching her pets poop all over her home and have it not be picked up. Her widowed father seems really nice and down to earth. We also think he might be a homosexual.

I don't know a lot about Denise Richards outside of what you probably know about her. The Charlie Sheen thing, the Richie Sambora thing, and then a few of those "blockbuster" movies she was in. Throughout the show Denise keeps saying how much she likes bad boys and she shouldn't, but can't help it if she likes a "hot guy with a big dick" or something to that effect. Really, it's almost a direct quote. There's a lot of her driving around with her assistant. She has two assistants because the first one doesn't do his job. Watching the show hasn't done anything to change the way I see Ms. Richards, if that is even the point of the show. What is the point of the show again? It's complicated?

Livin Lohan or La Vida Lohan, not really sure of the title.
More ridiculousness. Dina Lohan is managing her 14 year old daughter Ali Lohan..managing her singing career, that is. If Ali can sing (well) I'm not sure. But, I am sure that Ali could be one of the oldest looking 14 yr old kids ever. What can I say about this show - there's a guy named Jeremy who makes phat beats and wants to be a star - babysits Ali and her little brother (poor kid)- I think Ali likes him. They show some random stuff like Ali being asked for her autograph at a rock climbing place. Dina looks up stuff on the internet. Actually, her assistant looks things up on the internet and then tells her about it. I'm boring myself trying to rehash the show in my mind in order to write anything worth reading. Lame. All I'd like to say is I kept wondering throughout the entire show if the house they were in was paid for by little Lindsay Lohan in the Parent Trap or something.

Lesson Learned:
- 90% of being an assistant to a 'celebrity' is scouring the internet for them, looking up things about them.

-Don't watch reality tv shows centered on the lives of people I have no interest in whatsoever

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