Saturday, May 31, 2008

TV Rots the Brain

I've wasted many minutes of my life watching bad reality tv. My eyes may fall out of their sockets if I roll my eyes one more time.

The line up:
Step It Up and Dance, or as I like to call it, Shut The Hell Up and Dance.
I love a good dance show. One in particular, So You Think You Can Dance. Dancing with the Stars, not so much, but I tried and it's decent.

The people on SIUAD are annoying. Number one. I couldn't care about them because all but two were dickheads with big egos and full of "extravagance". Who wants to watch a group of people you probably wouldn't like in 'real' life compete? The first challenge placed our 12 dancers in a dance club with extras for them to show off what they can do "freestyle". Lame.
Afterwards they were split into two groups - the weaker dancers who would have someone eliminated from them, and a group of "better" dancers, one of which would earn immunity from the next weeks elimination round. Who uses "immunity" chances on a dance show? Channeling Tom Hanks in A League of Their Own, "There's no immunity in dancing!"

A choreographer teaches the two groups a dance to Spice World, by the Spice Girls - the choreography sucked, I thought. A lot of "tribal" jumping around and arm movements. Lame.

Did I mention Elizabeth Berkley is the host of this show? Nomi Malone. "I'm so excited!!" Jessi Spano. Who thought of her for this? Not that she's a bad person, or poor actress - she just seems like a random choice.
Who was watching Showgirls on VH1 and asked themselves, "I wonder if she could host a show about dance..looks like she can dance..hmm"? I digress.

I won't watch this show again. May the least annoying dancer win.

Denise Richards: It's Complicated a.k.a. Denise Richards: Who gives a crap?



Denise Richards has a reality tv show? Why? What is she doing aside from buying pigs, bbq grills, and checking out her status on the internet? Well, pretty much nothing. There's not a lot to say about this one. There was a funny moment when Denise goes on a blind date with a guy who seems to have a weird head bobbing-neck twitch..and the disgusting-ness of watching her pets poop all over her home and have it not be picked up. Her widowed father seems really nice and down to earth. We also think he might be a homosexual.

I don't know a lot about Denise Richards outside of what you probably know about her. The Charlie Sheen thing, the Richie Sambora thing, and then a few of those "blockbuster" movies she was in. Throughout the show Denise keeps saying how much she likes bad boys and she shouldn't, but can't help it if she likes a "hot guy with a big dick" or something to that effect. Really, it's almost a direct quote. There's a lot of her driving around with her assistant. She has two assistants because the first one doesn't do his job. Watching the show hasn't done anything to change the way I see Ms. Richards, if that is even the point of the show. What is the point of the show again? It's complicated?

Livin Lohan or La Vida Lohan, not really sure of the title.
More ridiculousness. Dina Lohan is managing her 14 year old daughter Ali Lohan..managing her singing career, that is. If Ali can sing (well) I'm not sure. But, I am sure that Ali could be one of the oldest looking 14 yr old kids ever. What can I say about this show - there's a guy named Jeremy who makes phat beats and wants to be a star - babysits Ali and her little brother (poor kid)- I think Ali likes him. They show some random stuff like Ali being asked for her autograph at a rock climbing place. Dina looks up stuff on the internet. Actually, her assistant looks things up on the internet and then tells her about it. I'm boring myself trying to rehash the show in my mind in order to write anything worth reading. Lame. All I'd like to say is I kept wondering throughout the entire show if the house they were in was paid for by little Lindsay Lohan in the Parent Trap or something.

Lesson Learned:
- 90% of being an assistant to a 'celebrity' is scouring the internet for them, looking up things about them.

-Don't watch reality tv shows centered on the lives of people I have no interest in whatsoever

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Night On Earth


Uh, I don't get it. My friend tells me he has this movie with him that his pal recommended he watch. Said it's a great movie about taxi drivers and twelve minutes. That was all he knew about the film. Basically the film takes place in 5 different cities around the world, each city has a short film dedicated to it and/or the taxi ride we witness taking place in said city.

We turn this thing on - ragging the hell out of Winona Rider because she's a horrible actress. It was painful to watch her on screen "acting" she looked like she was acting. Unacceptable. I thought Gena Rowlands sharing the scenes with her would save my sanity, but even she was intolerable. I decided her performance was an attempt to evoke Katerine Hepburn or Lauren Bacall. It was awkward. We'll always have "The Notebook", Gena.

That piece was set in..Los Angeles. The other cities were Paris, Helsinki, New York, and one other city..who cares. The only reason I continued watching was to see Helsinki on film since I was there recently, and then there was a German character in the New York piece, and I always like hearing German in movies - the German character by the way was supposed to have been a circus clown in East Germany, to prove this he pulls out two little plastic flutes and plays them simultaneously with both hands. What the hell? Am I supposed to think that's what I would see in an East German circus? An old man playing two little flutes? What does that say? What does that prove?

I read the boards at IMDB (love that place) some hated the movie, others rave it's the best thing they'd ever seen..such intricacy, subtleness, the span of the human condition, how people communicate. Right. What I did like about this movie was how it showcased the streets of each city, sort of the way you would experience a city if you were riding in a cab there in the middle of the night. So, yeah, I guess maybe that was the point of the film - in some ways - so, kudos to the direction of the driving.
To each their own. I'd take Jarmusch's "Coffee and Cigarettes" over this movie any day.

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Tuning In

On constant rotation this week:

11:32pm - Gina Catalino
"But I haven't had a real drink today.."
A chill, reggae inspired song. Great for that in between phase where you want to take a nap, but can't sleep and need some calming tunes.


The Time Is Now - Moloko
"Let's make this moment last.."
A cool mix of 80's, Bee Gees, and disco - with vocals something like Goldfrapp. An airy sounding voice you can imagine belonging to a slightly pale, blonde woman.


Black Sheep - Oi Va Voi
"I've had enough of all the cliches.."

These peeps are awesome.


Many The Miles - Sara Bareilles

"How far do I have to go to get to you? Many the miles.."
It took me awhile to get into Sara, but the girl is good! She's got soul.

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"That was a hoot!"


I've been randomly watching episodes of that old Nick Toons show, "Rocko's Modern Life". The one about the wallaby and his cow friend. It's entertaining enough. I don't know that I could have understood the underlying themes when I watched this show as a kid. One episode for example focused on Rocko's obnoxious neighbor, Mrs. Bighead, a boisterous frog lady. She's married to guess who - Mr. Bighead - they have sex problems. Mrs. Bighead tries to come on to the Mr., who turns over and goes to sleep one night making Mrs. B feel unattractive. The following day Mrs. B watches Rocko mow his lawn (not as dirty as it sounds) and calls him over to help her put in a lightbulb, or something stereotypical that a housewife would ask a man to do. He completes a number of tasks for her - because Rocko is a nice guy - Mrs. B watching him intently, hoping he notices her attractiveness. By the end of the episode Rocko is in his underwear, Mrs. B in her bathrobe when her husband returns home. It looks suspicious, the Mr. is pissed and kicks Rocko out - realizing his wife wants to be wanted. In their bedroom they both attempt to catch a fly on their tongues, their tongues become entangled in one another and the camera cuts to the exterior of their house - you watch their silhouettes tugging back and forth, along with zoo sounds and "ohhs" & happy "ahhs" from Mrs. B.

What 9-12 year old watching that could possibly get that? What did I think the story was if I'd watched that episode as a kid?

Another funny one shows Rocko's dog falling in love with the mop. Yeah, the dirty mop you clean the kitchen with. As the dog is falling for the mop they intercut shots of the dog drooling with big eyes - the mop - a shot of a chocolate covered donut being dunked into a cup of coffee - the dog panting - then a shot of Rocko's hand spreading mayonaisse on a slice of bread - the dog is going wild.

WTF?

Another scene I remember is the dog getting caught in the middle of the night alone in the closet with the mop. Rocko says his dog clearly has a problem, and admonishes him for being "with" the mop.

Rocko's Modern Life apparently was an early playground for a writer who would go on to create Spongebob Squarepants. First watching the show I thought it seemed a bit like the Spongebob humor, and the animation was - I don't know the technical terms, but they had the same look. So, it was cool to see there actually was a Spongebob/Rocko connection. Right down to the main character having a ridiculous, loud, dimwitted best friend.

That was a hoot!

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Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Ready or Not! Flashback, man!

Old school jam of the week! Maybe month!


Remember these guys? After 7, Babyface's brothers and friend. I always remember hearing this song on the jazz station or on those "midnight love" radio segments. Good times, good times.

And a little more upbeat, but still lovey dovey:


What happened to nice music like this? I love reading the comments underneath the videos, plenty of people miss good music like this. Look, the guys are in nice suits or Members Only jackets. What, no pants to the floor? No bling bling? Not necessary! They're just nice guys singing nice songs about love. Not banging the ho's and slappin' those bitches. Hoo-rah!

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Monday, May 05, 2008

Lacking in Consistency

No, I am not talking about low-fat milk.

I didn't do so well with the whole plan to keep up with what I'm watching & listening to. There's no good reason. I just don't think to write it down - but I will - do - better.

Starting now.

Movies:
Watched this old Peter Jackson film, "Dead Alive". Holy moly, talk about GORE FEST!! And no, not in an Al Gore save the Earth and make it green kinda way. Blood, guts, skin, body parts - flying about. Madness.


I would think it's a stretch to imagine this is the same genius behind the Lord of The Rings films, but, really this movie was totally creative. Peter Jackson is great. Formulaic even. The film is set in the 50's, there's this young guy whose life is run by his psychotic, wanna-be elite mother. He meets a girl - mom doesn't want any other women in his life - mom turns into a zombie. Love conquers all. Entertaining movie overall, I thought it was cute how in the midst of this huge debacle where the guy and the girl are killing a room house full of zombies it was done in the traditional roles of man & woman. What I mean is, the guy is tearing the zombies to shreds with a lawn mower, meanwhile in the kitchen the girl is shredding zombie body parts with the food processor. Cute.

Attempted to watch 'Hot Fuzz' a few days ago, but it was following 3-hours of tv and I couldn't get through it. Sometime soon I'll finish it. The first 20 minutes were amusing.

Music: I'm digging the Daft Punk album, "Voyager". Where I live a lot of us are on a shared network which means shared iTunes, yay. Someone has all of the Daft Punk albums, and one song that stands out to me for the tight bass and tech drums is "Teachers". It's a good wake up song, a good running around the house cleaning up or cooking song. Really like it.

The new Portishead album is out. Gotta say I'm not a big fan yet. Granted, I don't listen to a lot of Portishead in general. I'm more inclined to listen to Massive Attack than Portishead if given a choice. And, well, it's always my choice with itunes, so I don't listen to a lot of Portishead. I really like their song "Glory Box" "Roads", and "All Mine". Funny enough I didn't know "All Mine" through Portishead originally. I heard a sample of it in a Victoria's Secret commercial some time ago, looked it up and -oh, it's Portishead.

Mariah Carey. Apparently she equals MC squared. I only like two songs on this album so far. "I'm That Chick", and "Touch My Body". But, "Touch My Body" is very touch and go because it's one of those songs I shouldn't like, but just do because it's so damn catchy (and cheesy).

In the last week I've been kinda obsessed with Wagner's "Tristan and Isolde".


Amazing music right there.

In the world of television...Grey's Anatomy is back. The Office is back. Grey's Anatomy is closer to being enjoyable since the writer's took the cheese sticks out of their asses. It's still not as good as the first two seasons - but, what can ya do? The last episode I watched Addison was back, yay! What a fabulous character Grey's lost that is wasted on Private Practice. It's like the Addison of L.A. is the shell of Addison with some 'quirky' Kate Walsh antics and a bit of annoying Brooke Shields-ness.

I am looking forward to So You Think You Can Dance, I don't know when it comes back on, but I am looking forward to it whenever it does.

Hell's Kitchen. Awesome. How I miss the days of being yelled at because the halibut is cold.

Gordon Ramsay is hot, for the record.

I randomly watched an episode of The L Word. Hm, very dramatic, very "pretty", and pretty entertaining. It's intriguing. It has a shinier-prettier feel than Queer As Folk, if that makes sense. The lady from 'Flashdance', Jennifer Beals, she looks like she hasn't aged.



I mean, she looks like she has aged to about 30 and just stopped there. She looks better than she did in the 80's. The guy from Ugly Betty is also on this show, he's adorable. Can't remember his real name, but his name on the show is Tim, so, Tim is adorable.


I missed the best part! South Park! Watched the Mr. Hankey episodes, how wonderful is he! I laughed out loud a few times, yup.

I'll try to keep up-updated-updating.

Until next time.

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